Advise or Help?

According to http://wiktionary.com the definition of "Advise" is "To give Advice to". The definition of "help" is "Action given to provide assistance". In the course of my day I get multiple emails ending in "Please Advise". For instance, "I am having problems changing my password. Please advise." Advice? Really? Is that what you want, ok. My advice to you is to turn off your computer, put it back in the box and take it back to wherever you bought it, because you don't know how to type a semicolon. Yeah, that was a real issue that I was asked to "please advise" on.

You need "HELP", not advice. Is it ego? Are people afraid of looking stupid? I deal mostly with sales reps all day, I know that confidence is all they have sometimes, but I don't take my car to the garage and ask for advice. I need HELP.

Early in my career I was told, "Speak to Express, not Impress". This was meant to limit the amount of technical jargon used in day to day conversation with customers. It was drilled into our heads, as being courteous, and efficient. I wish all people would concentrate on communicating and not on whether or not they seem impressive doing it.

I'm thinking of consciously breaking these rules as revenge.