According to http://wiktionary.com the definition of "Advise" is "To give Advice to". The definition of "help" is "Action given to provide assistance". In the course of my day I get multiple emails ending in "Please Advise". For instance, "I am having problems changing my password. Please advise." Advice? Really? Is that what you want, ok. My advice to you is to turn off your computer, put it back in the box and take it back to wherever you bought it, because you don't know how to type a semicolon. Yeah, that was a real issue that I was asked to "please advise" on.
You need "HELP", not advice. Is it ego? Are people afraid of looking stupid? I deal mostly with sales reps all day, I know that confidence is all they have sometimes, but I don't take my car to the garage and ask for advice. I need HELP.
Early in my career I was told, "Speak to Express, not Impress". This was meant to limit the amount of technical jargon used in day to day conversation with customers. It was drilled into our heads, as being courteous, and efficient. I wish all people would concentrate on communicating and not on whether or not they seem impressive doing it.
I'm thinking of consciously breaking these rules as revenge.
Dear Mr. IT guy,
ReplyDeleteI know that I can't be the only one having this problem in this company and even though you've told me how to correct this problem before a few times I still can't get my computer to work. I'm not an idiot because the other sales reps tell me I'm not, so this needs to be your top priority. I'm already late for my morning appointment because I was out drinking really late and the hooker stole my Seiko watch, so I'm totally screwed with getting the Damon's account. I just can't afford to lose another huge account like that because my sales manager will freak out and probably write me up or something which will make it really hard to get to Presidents Club this year. I have to go to Presidents Club because I went last year and if I don't go this year people may think I'm not as good as I was and I may get written up or something because of my attitude. Anyhow, you gotta help me with this problem ASAP.
Whenever I try to send an email it doesn't work. I really am not good with computers. Their not my strong suit. I build relationships. That's what I'm good at. I'm not one of those geeks that sits in front of a computer all day and knows all about them. No offense. Anyhow, I've got my email all typed up. I put in the address and click send, but it keeps coming back and saying it can't go there or something like that. My regional manager told me to email you because he didn't know what to do and you're the only person that I can actually get an email to go to. Could you check if I have the right address for the person I'm emailing? They work in this company too, so you have to have their information on your computer somewhere. Here's the address I'm emailing it to:
1643 Main Street, Lancaster, PA, 17601
Like I said, I know this is the correct address.
Please advise.