Great Review of The Phantom Menace

A somewhat sardonic, but incredibly true review of the Phantom Menace. You can find the other 6(!) parts on You Tube.

Under the Dome - Review

I have to confess that I was a little late coming to the party. I didn't read my first Stephen King Book until I was in College. Someone recommended "Misery". Of course I was hooked. I always thought he was a hack. He may be. With the speed that he puts out books, it's certainly easy to see him that way, but I think that is underestimating him.

His newest Novel "Under The Dome" weighs in at 1100 pages, and I have a hard time putting it down. It's one of those "What would happen if..." books. The concept is simple, an invisible force field strangely appears, covering only the town of Chesters Mills. Any other town in America, might make it for a few days without falling apart, but with "Big Jim Rennie" as one of the towns selectmen, it only takes two days before Martial Law is instituted and people start dying.

I know that some of the imagery in this book is a little trite, but the man wrote 1100 pages in 9 months. With that output speed you are going to have some ugly language, but it's so damn addictive. I think that counts for something.

If you are a Stephen King fan, pick up a copy of this book!

Also this month, there are new comic book additions to "The Dark Tower" saga, and also "The Stand". I'm pretty sure that his only role in the comics is to approve the story, and I've only ready the first part of the Dark Tower comics, but they were ok.

I just found out that there is also an free online game based on The Dark Tower, Discordia.

Busy guy.

Furlough

Well it's that time of year; when all good American companies ask their employees to take a week off unpaid, in an attempt to save money, and jobs. (What yours didn't?!?! Commies.)

Frankly I'm enjoying my time off. I'm looking forward to posting incredibly erudite blog posts! Full of witticisms that would make your mom blush.

So....(crickets) I got nothing.

Muppets Sing Bohemian Rhapsody

New Super Mario Bros Wii

It's the perfect storm of gaming at my home right now. I'm playing the recently released Left 4 Dead 2, which is a very well done sequel. It is actually a more complete game than the original. More on that one after I have been able to put in some more time with the game.

I also have the new Super Mario Bros Wii. I've had the opportunity to play the game for a couple hours, and it is EXACTLY what Nintendo needed to do for the holiday season. I should qualify this all by saying that I got the game for $7.50 with some credits I got from Amazon for trading in some games, etc. But I don't think that is coloring my opinion too much.

Some of the reviews I have read so far have really beaten the game up for it's perceived high level of difficulty. Nintendo has really made an attempt to appeal to a wider array of gamers. In particular the casual gamer. Obviously this has been a great idea for them since they continue to experience great sales of wii systems. I think that 3rd party developers will continue to make some great games that everyone can play.

I think that this game, being that it's from the Big "N" directly, is meant to be a return to where Mario came from. Yeah, it's a side scrolling 2D platform game (although the graphics really are in 3D if you look at them closely) but that is what originally made Mario awesome. It's almost like a middle finger, directed at those casual gamers they want to appeal to, from Nintendo right in the middle of the Holiday lineup for Wii...and I love it.

Yes it's more difficult, but I chuckle every time I lose a life in some novel way. It takes good old fashioned manual dexterity, timing, skill, and practice. You can still play the game with someone that is more inexperienced with the concept of an old school platformer. I've played with my 5 year old, his timing and dexterity can not equal mine (yet), but Nintendo has built in a feature to let a second player continue as long as one player lives. It's pretty fun for a 5 year old, and actually makes it more interesting for me too!

I really think that if you enjoy the original Mario Bros games (especially SMB 3) you will like this game. Don't just take my word for it.

IGN

NY TIMES (I guess this review is intended for those casual gamers I talked about)

The Head is a built in Pillow

I can't wait until my Son is old enough for me to share the Original Star Wars movies with him. Someday, young Padawan. Someday.

In the meantime I think he needs one of these.

The Internet at 40

The internet turned 40 on October 29th. It evolved from the ARPANET, which probably resembled todays internet about as much as an old 78 record resembles a Blu-ray DVD. Still Happy Birthday Internet!

this dude makes $20k from something that doesn't cost him a dime

Sometimes I read something that just amazes me. For 80+ years this family has been hauling mud for Major League Baseball teams to "rough up" their glossy balls.

Talk about cockblocking

What a tease. She lures them in from miles away and then runs. BITCH!

Live Action Video Games Off Broadway

Considering how popular geek culture, and recreating video games in real life is; I'm not surprised to see something like this on Broadway. All you have to do is a quick search on you tube and you can find hundreds of videos of people recreating Super Mario Bros. Not to mention all of the Left 4 Dead stuff.
I don't really think it's going to take off until it's presented in a way that it's accessible to people outside of the video game sub culture. For instance, there is no way I would be able to drag my wife to this. I might get away with "Spamalot" but not this.

The windmills of my mind

Today is one of those days that can best be summed up with this video from the Muppet Show.

They were Expendable

click here for more images

I don't feel too bad for stormtroopers. They may have been nameless clones, but they new what they were getting themselves into.

And that's your friend?

I know enough to NEVER wear a blindfold around my friends.

I think they might have taken the Vampire trend too far

In the pantheon of disturbing things this has to go at the top of the list. At what point does a woman decide the following:

1. I love Vampires...ALOT
2. I love the environment, I will reuse my feminine hygiene products

I wish I could hear the conversation with the doctor that sees this beauty: "Alright, let's just see how you are doing here. HOLY FREAKING SHIT YOU'VE GOT A VAMPIRE ON YOUR PAD."

Stupid Sales Reps

The original is still the best, but all of these are quite entertaining.

I really wish that I had the spare time to mess around more with video! I can't even find the time to edit my kids videos.

Maybe Shakira?

I really hope that this story is false. If I was ever being interrogated and they started playing something by Shakira, or T-pain, I'd confess to pretty much anything. It really would be cruel and inhumane treatment!

Saturday Night Live - Beauty and the Beast

I thought this was funny, but the rest of the episode was, as usual, only somewhat funny. I wish that show could get consistent.

Porky's

Watched Porky's last night on "Movie Classics" last night. There are some really funny scene's in that movie. One of my favorites is the "Why do they call you Lassie" scene. I never realized it, but that's a young Kim Cattrall. Good stuff!

Van Halen - Guitar Hero for Wii review.

I have spent some time playing this game now. I purchased Guitar Hero 5 and they threw in Guitar Hero Van Halen, if you completed an online form, and mailed in a certificate with proof of purchase. Knowing what I do now, that little amount of work almost makes it not worth it. Almost.

The game uses the old Guitar Hero interface. If you haven't played GH5 yet, one of the biggest improvements in the game is in the interface. The graphics look a little better too. Not in the Van Halen add on! Luckily it was free.

I was a big Van Halen fan in high school, had every album, up until OU812, and don't get me wrong it's fun to play along with the songs I sort of grew up with, but it's only the current lineup of Van Halen. David Lee Roth, Eddie and Alex Van Halen, and Wolfgang Van Halen. WOLFGANG VAN HALEN. That's Eddie's son. His avatar in the game looks awkward, and uncomfortable. I hadn't heard, but apparently Michael Anthony has been touring with Sammy Hagar, and "Wah my vagina hurts" wasn't included in the making of the game. Without him playing that silly Jack Daniels guitar and jumping around the stage like a 20 year old, the ACTUAL 20 YEAR OLD sucks. He sort of sways from side to side, like he's at his first Cure concert. AWFUL. Plus they must have had to cut Anthony's vocals from the older tracks. That high pitched harmonizing he used to do...gone.

Anyway, I'm sure Wolfgang Van Halen is incredibly talented, but it's a shame they couldn't have included Michael Anthony. I can easily live without Sammy Hagar, Gary Cherone, Mitch Malloy(?), and whoever else filled in for David Lee Roth and his ego.

Of course maybe Activision realizes that it didn't have a winner with this game and that's why they were giving it away.

Getting to play some Van Halen Songs, is worth it, but overall...Meh.

By the way, Michael Anthony, seems like he may be "the nice one".

Creepy Ads

Huffington Post has a great...hmmm..."post" about the 10 unintentionally creepiest ads of all time.

Movie Ending Reality - Forgetting Sarah Marshall

This is going to be a new feature on this site. Some movies end with a brief text description of what happens to the characters in the movie as their life continues past the movie. Like Animal House. If you were writing that for a movie, how would you write it?

Todays choice: Forgetting Sarah Marshall

May see Jeff Ross this weekend

Jeff Ross is hilarious, but Larry steals the show!

Blackmail

I'm not sure why it would occur to anyone to try blackmailing someone. They always seem to get caught! At least when the victim is famous...hmmmm...maybe the trick is to blackmail people that aren't famous. Of course regular people don't have that much money. I wonder if I could blackmail lunch money out of one of my coworkers for not revealing the photos I have of him in drag.

Advise or Help?

According to http://wiktionary.com the definition of "Advise" is "To give Advice to". The definition of "help" is "Action given to provide assistance". In the course of my day I get multiple emails ending in "Please Advise". For instance, "I am having problems changing my password. Please advise." Advice? Really? Is that what you want, ok. My advice to you is to turn off your computer, put it back in the box and take it back to wherever you bought it, because you don't know how to type a semicolon. Yeah, that was a real issue that I was asked to "please advise" on.

You need "HELP", not advice. Is it ego? Are people afraid of looking stupid? I deal mostly with sales reps all day, I know that confidence is all they have sometimes, but I don't take my car to the garage and ask for advice. I need HELP.

Early in my career I was told, "Speak to Express, not Impress". This was meant to limit the amount of technical jargon used in day to day conversation with customers. It was drilled into our heads, as being courteous, and efficient. I wish all people would concentrate on communicating and not on whether or not they seem impressive doing it.

I'm thinking of consciously breaking these rules as revenge.

Contraptions

Ever since I was a little kid I've been fascinated with Rube Goldberg contraptions. Complex devices to perform simple tasks. I remember a silly art project that we had when I was in first or second grade, it required creativity, and some basic engineering. I was hooked. I would sit with pieces of graph paper and draw these elaborate machines.

Of course they've also shown up in films.

Here's a good game to waste some time with too!

Deep Thoughts

Jack Handey is still kicking those "Deep thoughts".

The Muppets Were Potheads

I always kind of figured they were.

Now THAT's a Jawa Tattoo!

I haven't been able to get my wife to agree to get this Jawa tattoo. I see no problem with it.

Click on the image for Full Size

The Original Must See TV?

I fondly remember watching this show on Thursdays. I'm pretty sure it was part of the original "Must See TV" Lineup. I think "Night Court" was on after "Cheers". Good times.

Setting Up A Place to Share

I've been trying to use the free Website that comes with my DSL subscription for years, but it has always been so unreliable. So I decided to give Blogger a try.

It seems to have some cool template features, AND the ability to customize it to almost any extent. I can also sign up other people as contributors, that will allow all of my wise ass friends to comment as they see fit. Some of our email exchanges might actually be seen as humorous to people outside of our circle of friends. Who knows.

In the meantime I want to try messing around with some of the features. Here's a video:

Can you imagine, seeing all of these people sliding around on these roads, and having the BALLS to think you could handle it? I would have put the car in park, climbed into the back seat and slept until it was all over. Of course, that's no guarantee that some douchenozzle wouldn't have carrened into you.